I guess I've been working through the whole thing with BM and him not being completely forthright, and transparent with his feelings but my intuition is clear: He doesn't feel the same way, otherwise he would've jumped at the opportunity to spend more one-on-one time with me and probably would've suggested it himself. Last night, I texted to him to see if he was going out (even though I was out already at Pyramid for 80's night, with MH, KT, K, J and C) and he replied "Maybe later... on a date" which royally pissed me off-- Isn't it a little insensitive that he had to mention that last part? Then, I thought about it and realized I guess that's his way of showing me it's not gonna happen, and in a way, it's him being normal toward me despite it all. And I realized maybe it's me who can't be perfectly normal toward him, but I will have to be.

Addendum: Thank goodness for friends. Though some seem to have not understood the magnitude of the BM situation, others have and it's truly appreciated. For example, AW who says I'm too precious and really shouldn't enter in a relationship if the other person's so passive. And TK who wants me to be with someone who shows that he cares, and that he wants me, and who takes the initiative with me. And of course that's what I want-- So much.

So anyway, Pyramid turned out to be quite a time. We had gotten there fairly early, and there was a comedian up there so no music until around 10p. It was okay though, had a good time with MH and met a couple of new people which is always fun. We were the first ones on the dance floor, and I'm always ready for dancing it up so had a good time. Tried to get J to dance a bit more; he wasn't confident in his skills but got him to move some.

Then, we went to the bar and he got me Shirley Temple and we chatted for a bit. Met the guy sitting next to me-- LA, a race car driver. How hot is that! Had a nice time talking to him, and ended up spending the night with him-- MH and friends decided to go to karaoke right when the party was getting good. I stayed with LA (at Pyramid) and it was great: "Jessie's Girl" "Like a Virgin" "I Think We're Alone Now" and LA loved the way I danced. He asked me, "Are you always this cute, or just when you dance?" Aww! We ended up getting pretty close on the dance floor, and later in the night started making out... Mmmm, good!

We headed to Cheap Shots after 2 or 3a, because we both love air hockey so much. He's actually really good and I could only score 4 points (to his winning 7) but he said I was good too because usually people score 0 against him. Actually had a pretty good time at the dive bar. Everyone seemed to be nice and friendly, and got to meet some of LA's friends. And since they know the bartenders, we were able to just chill after hours while everyone else was kicked out.

Headed to Odessa's afterward for some food. Enjoyed philly cheese steak, some cheese fries, little empanada-like treats and great conversation. Went back to LA's in Brooklyn (more for the purpose of being closer to the city than anything else) and slept close to him. Nothing happened til morning, and what did happen was pretty sweet but made sure not to let it go too far because I've made that mistake in the past. And besides, being close to someone and making out are two of my favorite things...

So, LA seems to be a good guy. Throughout the night, he made sure my needs (drink, playing air hockey, shoulder) were taken care of and always asked how I was doing. And, it felt good to lean on him, link arms, hold hands even if it wasn't for very long. Looking forward to seeing him again.