So now I'm back in the States. CA at the moment and the pace of life has certainly calmed down. It's a bit boring as my friends are pretty busy and I'm not really doing anything until I get back to NY (and start on those internships =) I have been gearing up to go to NY though... Will be leaving Saturday night. I'm excited that I'll be having all these new skirts, dresses, tees to sport in the city.

Since I've been back, I've just wanted to talk and talk and talk with friends and I've had a ton of great telephone conversations (as well as some in person ones). It's so wonderful to catch up with everyone I didn't really chat with while I was away in China for a month. There's so much to discuss and sadly, some of these people I won't get to see because they've moved back home or are living elsewhere.

Of course I've talked to MS, but I don't feel like I have enough. He tends to call maybe half an hour before he sleeps, and then to me it feels like he cuts the conversation short because he needs to get to bed and at times I'll just say goodnight but other times we'll argue about how we barely get to talk to one another.

And tonight he said, "I could talk to you forever, but if I don't go to sleep, I won't get up in the morning" which is very legit, and I should've been accepting but I didn't get to say everything I wanted. So then he calls me needy and told me I have to be more understanding etc. And I just feel that I like him more than he likes me, that I care more and that I just feel more (which, I probably do as I am a very emotional, dramatic, romantic kind of person and he's really not so much) ... To which he replied "How could you say that. I do care. And I feel bad every time I have to do this but you make it worse by making me feel bad about it." Grr.

I just wanted to know he thinks of me, that he missed me -- which he says he has. I'm just frustrated that he seems to have so little time and scared that I feel more for him, that I like him more. Never a good thing. I think it might get better when I've started the internships, since I'll actually have something productive to do (instead of just hanging out with people).

I just hope that it'll be sweet and natural when we're together again, which I'm sure it will be...